The common assumption about Southern California weather is that there are no seasons. This is patently false, our seasons range from mildly cold (Fall, Winter), nice (2 weeks in Spring) and too damn hot (Summer). So now it is Spring and the annual sign of spring can be seen all over Barstow, California.

Is it the Red Breasted Robin? No, we don't get many of those here. We do get cute fat sparrows noisily humping in our tree.

Is it the change in the weather? No. Here in California spring comes as a nervous virgin. One day with bright sunny skies and almost ninety degree temperature - the next cloudy and cold. May or June is usually when everything settles down and then the real heat starts.

Is it the old seasonal allergy? For me yes but this year I have a cold that I call the "Crayon Cold" (don't ask, it's gross). If I had any allergies symptoms they would be obliterated by my own personal viral apocalypse.

Is it the cliché "Spring Fever"? Don't think so, can't sleep because of the cold so I am feeling loggy all the time anyways.

No this year, and most others, spring is marked by the high art of swamp cooler repair. We rent our house but our landlord is getting up in the years so I help out and get ours started for him.

Cooler repair is a highly ritualized affair that everyone seems to follow.

First we clean out of the bottom of the cooler. This has the potential of being the grossest part of the job. All sorts of things have been found their way into coolers during the winter months. I have heard tales of squirrels carcasses, kid's pot stash, lizards and other weird stuff all being found in a cooler.

Next is the the biggest pain, the water supply. Usually the water line gunks up with a mysterious green slime that has to be forced out. Then you have to check the lines for leaks. This year at first there was no leaks but one developed later. I did the honorable thing and ignored it until the landlord noticed and fixed the leak.

Now we find out if the electrical parts work. We wait for the bottom of the cooler fill up and then we turn it on. This is followed by my cries of joy as the motor fires up and the squirrel cage starts turning.

So now Spring can officially begin we are ready for warm weather. Of course we will have to recover the cooler vent 15 or 16 more times for returning cold weather.

For those of you who don't know what a Swamp Cooler (or Evaporative Cooler) is check out http://www.energyoutlet.com/res/cooling/evap_coolers/index.html.